The Secret Life of Girls

Last Friday, I went to dinner with Jenny E, LCP, LCP’s hot mom friend MacKenzie, LCP’s cousin Holland, LCP’s college buddy Tracey.

We went to Mirror for some tapas and wine. We chatted about men, children, pets, work, waxing, general genital grooming and anal bleaching.

I have two really good quotes that I need to share. Cross-post on Emotional Mullet.

LCP will correct me, but I think it was MacKenzie who was having a hard time understanding the purpose and outcome of anal bleaching.

Sensing that we needed a bit more explanation, I said,

“It is like Visine for the brown eye.”

And another …

MacKenzie, a hot-mom like LCP, was relating the troubles and issues she had with general genital grooming during and after pregnancy.*

She said,

“It was like Gorillas In The Mist. I was all Jane Goodall down there.”



*I believe this is a reference to how one must prioritze with a newborn.

Co-worker Quote

For this to make sense you need to know that there is a comedy show in NI called Give my Head Peace about the protestant/catholic divide. You also need to know that the speaker's mother is big into alternative healing and therapy and tries to force this way of life on others. When asked for the 5000th time to partake in reiki healing or some such, her daughter finally exploded with

"Give my aura peace!"

Well I thought it was funny, especially since they are both Croatian...

When the wife's away...

Packing is stressful. Unpacking is a pain. Colleen likes to leave her suitcase on the floor for several weeks until I give in and do it for her. But this time after our xmas trip to DC, she unpacked most of it right away, but not quite all of her bad habits have been cured by my incessant nagging. She sill disrobes at night by dropping everything where she stands, leaving me to compare her upbringing to that of a barnyard animal.

Last night I had occasion to ask what the house would look like I wasn't here to nag and force her to unpack and put things away etc. This was the answer I kind of expected:

"Remember those three months you were in America? I lived like a monkey, flinging my shit and bras."

I laughed so hard my ribs hurt. Needless to say the suitcase is still on the floor with some monkey shit in it.

Parent Quote

Its a different generation people, it really is. Us kids today (yes I know how old I am) took those drunk driving commercials and the 17 kids that died in our high school from it fairly seriously.

Colleen in particular won't drive if she's even touched the booze. But not my dad, he's probably better at most things slightly drunk anyway. It has always bothered Colleen that he'll think nothing of driving home after things like New Years Eve etc... and she said so at one point in the car with him which produced this great line:

"If you're not nervous when I'm driving, YOU'RE the one who's drunk!" ~ my dad

so proud...